A slight play on words for the title of this musing I’m thinking of occasionally writing on. I’m not sure how well it will be received, so I’m not sure how long or often I’ll publish my thoughts on things like this, but time will tell. Its easy for those who don’t care for it to just stop reading I’d imagine, but on the same token if its a waste of time, I’ll likely not pursue it.
Its often joked by friends and those familiar with me of my common “motherly” tendencies in regards to near everything I do. These posts probably won’t serve help to minimize that assertion in my own character. That said, it is never an intention of mine to be “motherly” in regards to being bossy or anything like that. It has always been a personal goal though to inspire positives in others, and so that is what these possible posts may actually be about. If there are a few small things I’ve learned that lessen the stress I feel in some instances, than why not share those thoughts? I’m always open to learn attitudes that help keep things in life more peaceful and pleasant.
I’ve noticed that there is insight and ease gained with dealing with problems that come up in life the second you are able to step back and consider a larger picture. This is something that I think many struggle with finding out on their own. As children we start off knowing and understanding only our own immediate wants and desires. Over time it hopefully becomes the case that we are introduced to thinking outside of only ourselves, however I’m sure we’ve all met up with individuals where this thought and attitude had never flourished.
I find that the more focused an individual is on themselves, the more stressful of an existence they take on, and the more dramatic everything is to them. By going on in this manner, they totally miss out on small truths that can help them through the hardest of times in life. Although our pride often makes it hard to understand, it is honest truth that some of the best results in life, can actually be spawned out of things that don’t immediately go our way. As such we shouldn’t react so violently when things “go astray” from our plans. As the song says… “Thank God for Unanswered Prayers”.
Once you can get over yourself enough to accept this, it frees you up from further sabotaging your own happiness. One of the hardest lessons to learn is that in reality, the only power you really have is over your own being. You may feel like you can force/manipulate/or “make” others do things how you want, but this control is actually a false security. People may do things the way you suggest, but it is not out of any real power you wield. It is actually always their choice and at any point in time that that individual can change their mind. Your “power” to “control” them or their actions is completely superficial and can be lost with no prior notice.
The last thought for today I want to touch on is the simple thought that its actually ok to disagree. The world is quite lonely if you require all those around you to agree wholeheartedly with your opinions. For that matter its also quite boring. If you think about it, its quite presumptuous to think that you have everything already figured out enough to think that all your opinions are “the only truth”. This would mean that you actually entertain the idea that there is nothing further to learn on your part. If that is the case, then it denotes that of a fully closed mind that isn’t able to better itself ever from its current status.
Always question your own most “resolute” attitudes, and make sure the reason you choose to continue to hold them is because you truly believe them, and not because you “inherited” the attitude from others opinions. Do question your own emotions and feelings on subjects, because in earnest emotions and feelings are not rock solid things to stand on, as they can waiver for reasons not understood by even you. Upon introspection you may actually be surprised where they generate from, and how different their true reason is from the imagined one that of the “emotion” it generated immediately proposes.
So to summarize the life lessons mentioned in this post:
#1 Train your ability in yourself to adjust your own focus and make it flexible. The sooner you are able to consistently step back from a situation and view it from a more encompassing venue, the more you allow yourself to understand, and give yourself the opportunity to see solutions that are actually present. Solutions that are often just outside the scope of view when you remain focused so intently on your own plans and desires. In short, your choice of where to focus is important. Those who opt to view the bigger picture, are generally always rewarded with more options to choose from than those who focus solely on themselves, how they feel that second, and what they want.
#2 Control over anyone other than yourself is at its best temporary and should never be relied on. It is foolish to put too much into expecting it ever to continue. Learn that the only real control you have is over yourself, and that is where you should be exercising it, not on others. Be reasonable enough to understand this simple truth.
#3 Don’t be afraid of different views and opinions. Exploring others views and thoughts on matters help you to grow and evolve into something better. Don’t cut yourself off from it.
#4 For people to get along or interact respectfully, it is actually not a requirement that they be a carbon copy and agree on all terms. One of the best practices you can learn in this life will be to have the ability to agree to simply disagree in opinion with someone, and move on. You can shout from the rooftops and present your case a million times as to why you believe yellow to be the best color in the entire world, but it doesn’t mean that others will adhere or share your opinion… and that is perfectly fine. How boring the world would be if everyone dressed in yellow eh?